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The biggest attraction in Britain is Britain - the whole package. Our heritage is not just a collection of ornaments scattered across the country, it is Britain itself and makes us gloriously distinguishable from any other country. - Bill Bryson Quotes

The biggest attraction in Britain is Britain - the whole package. Our heritage is not just a collection of ornaments scattered across the country, it is Britain itself and makes us gloriously distinguishable from any other country.

I had always thought that once you grew up you could do anything you wanted -- stay up all night or eat ice-cream straight out of the container. - Bill Bryson Quotes

I had always thought that once you grew up you could do anything you wanted -- stay up all night or eat ice-cream straight out of the container.

Night

Incidentally, disturbance from cosmic background radiation is something we have all experienced. Tune your television to any channel it doesn't receive, and about 1 percent of the dancing static you see is accounted for by this ancient remnant of the Big Bang. The next time you complain that there is nothing on, remember that you can always watch the birth of the universe. - Bill Bryson Quotes

Incidentally, disturbance from cosmic background radiation is something we have all experienced. Tune your television to any channel it doesn't receive, and about 1 percent of the dancing static you see is accounted for by this ancient remnant of the Big Bang. The next time you complain that there is nothing on, remember that you can always watch the birth of the universe.

For a long time it puzzled me how something so expensive, so leading edge, could be so useless, and then it occurred to me that a computer is a stupid machine with the ability to do incredibly smart things, while computer programmers are smart people with the ability to do incredibly stupid things. They are, in short, a perfect match. - Bill Bryson Quotes

For a long time it puzzled me how something so expensive, so leading edge, could be so useless, and then it occurred to me that a computer is a stupid machine with the ability to do incredibly smart things, while computer programmers are smart people with the ability to do incredibly stupid things. They are, in short, a perfect match.

More than 300 million people in the world speak English and the rest, it sometimes seems, try to. - Bill Bryson Quotes

More than 300 million people in the world speak English and the rest, it sometimes seems, try to.

American Writer People

He had the sort of face that makes you realize God does have a sense of humor. - Bill Bryson Quotes

He had the sort of face that makes you realize God does have a sense of humor.

Funny

The whole of the global economy is based on supplying the cravings of two per cent of the world's population. - Bill Bryson Quotes

The whole of the global economy is based on supplying the cravings of two per cent of the world's population.

American Writer Economy

Up to a third of bundling couples found themselves presented with a permanent souvenir of the occasion - Bill Bryson Quotes

Up to a third of bundling couples found themselves presented with a permanent souvenir of the occasion

Among the many thousands of things that I have never been able to understand, one in particular stands out. That is the question of who was the first person who stood by a pile of sand and said,

Among the many thousands of things that I have never been able to understand, one in particular stands out. That is the question of who was the first person who stood by a pile of sand and said, "You know, I bet if we took some of this and mixed it with a little potash and heated it, we could make a material that would be solid and yet transparent. We could call it glass." Call me obtuse, but you could stand me on a beach till the end of time and never would it occur to me to try to make it into windows.

What an odd thing tourism is. You fly off to a strange land, eagerly abandoning all the comforts of home, and then expend vast quantities of time and money in a largely futile attempt to recapture the comforts that you wouldn't have lost if you hadn't left home in the first place. - Bill Bryson Quotes

What an odd thing tourism is. You fly off to a strange land, eagerly abandoning all the comforts of home, and then expend vast quantities of time and money in a largely futile attempt to recapture the comforts that you wouldn't have lost if you hadn't left home in the first place.

Home

A bank robber in Los Angeles told the clerk not to give him cash, but to deposit the money in his checking account. - Bill Bryson Quotes

A bank robber in Los Angeles told the clerk not to give him cash, but to deposit the money in his checking account.

English grammar is so complex and confusing for the one very simple reason that its rules and terminology are based on Latin -- a language with which it has precious little in common. In Latin, to take one example, it is not possible to split an infinitive. So in English, the early authorities decided, it should not be possible to split an infinitive either. But there is no reason why we shouldn't, any more than we should forsake instant coffee and air travel because they weren't available to the Romans. Making English grammar conform to Latin rules is like asking people to play baseball using the rules of football. It is a patent absurdity. But once this insane notion became established, grammarians found themselves having to draw up ever more complicated and circular arguments to accommodate the inconsistencies. - Bill Bryson Quotes

English grammar is so complex and confusing for the one very simple reason that its rules and terminology are based on Latin -- a language with which it has precious little in common. In Latin, to take one example, it is not possible to split an infinitive. So in English, the early authorities decided, it should not be possible to split an infinitive either. But there is no reason why we shouldn't, any more than we should forsake instant coffee and air travel because they weren't available to the Romans. Making English grammar conform to Latin rules is like asking people to play baseball using the rules of football. It is a patent absurdity. But once this insane notion became established, grammarians found themselves having to draw up ever more complicated and circular arguments to accommodate the inconsistencies.

I come from Des Moines. Somebody had to. - Bill Bryson Quotes

I come from Des Moines. Somebody had to.

American Writer

We are so used to the notion of our own inevitability as life's dominant species that it is hard to grasp that we are only here because of timely extraterrestrial bangs and other random flukes. - Bill Bryson Quotes

We are so used to the notion of our own inevitability as life's dominant species that it is hard to grasp that we are only here because of timely extraterrestrial bangs and other random flukes.

The whole of the global economy is based on supplying the cravings of teo per cent of the world's population. - Bill Bryson Quotes

The whole of the global economy is based on supplying the cravings of teo per cent of the world's population.

There are things you just can't do in life. You can't beat the phone company, you can't make a waiter see you until he's ready to see you, and you can't go home again. - Bill Bryson Quotes

There are things you just can't do in life. You can't beat the phone company, you can't make a waiter see you until he's ready to see you, and you can't go home again.

American Writer Company

To my mind, the only possible pet is a cow. Cows love you. . . . They will listen to your problems and never ask a thing in return. They will be your friends forever. And when you get tired of them, you can kill and eat them. Perfect. - Bill Bryson Quotes

To my mind, the only possible pet is a cow. Cows love you. . . . They will listen to your problems and never ask a thing in return. They will be your friends forever. And when you get tired of them, you can kill and eat them. Perfect.

Love

The average Southerner has the speech patterns of someone slipping in and out of consciousness. I can change my shoes and socks faster than most people in Mississippi can speak a sentence. - Bill Bryson Quotes

The average Southerner has the speech patterns of someone slipping in and out of consciousness. I can change my shoes and socks faster than most people in Mississippi can speak a sentence.

A Walk in the Woods - Bill Bryson Quotes

A Walk in the Woods

I am taking this very seriously and I am honored to be appointed. It's not every day that an immigrant more or less fresh off the boat gets invited to help run a national institution. - Bill Bryson Quotes

I am taking this very seriously and I am honored to be appointed. It's not every day that an immigrant more or less fresh off the boat gets invited to help run a national institution.

African Diary. - Bill Bryson Quotes

I have long known that it is part of God's plan for me to spend a little time with each of the most stupid people on earth. - Bill Bryson Quotes

I have long known that it is part of God's plan for me to spend a little time with each of the most stupid people on earth.

American Writer

The remarkable position in which we find ourselves is that we don't actually know what we actually know. - Bill Bryson Quotes

The remarkable position in which we find ourselves is that we don't actually know what we actually know.

American Writer

There are only three things that can kill a farmer: lightning, rolling over in a tractor, and old age. - Bill Bryson Quotes

There are only three things that can kill a farmer: lightning, rolling over in a tractor, and old age.

American Writer

My first rule of consumerism is never to buy anything you can't make your children carry. - Bill Bryson Quotes

My first rule of consumerism is never to buy anything you can't make your children carry.

American Writer

And I find chopsticks frankly distressing. Am I alone in thinking it odd that a people ingenious enough to invent paper, gunpowder, kites and any number of other useful objects, and who have a noble history extending back 3,000 years haven't yet worked out that a pair of knitting needles is no way to capture food? - Bill Bryson Quotes

And I find chopsticks frankly distressing. Am I alone in thinking it odd that a people ingenious enough to invent paper, gunpowder, kites and any number of other useful objects, and who have a noble history extending back 3,000 years haven't yet worked out that a pair of knitting needles is no way to capture food?

In three minutes, 98 percent of all the matter there is or will ever be has been produced. We have a universe. It is a place of the most wondrous and gratifying possibility, and beautiful, too. And it was all done in about the time it takes to make a sandwich. - Bill Bryson Quotes

In three minutes, 98 percent of all the matter there is or will ever be has been produced. We have a universe. It is a place of the most wondrous and gratifying possibility, and beautiful, too. And it was all done in about the time it takes to make a sandwich.

If you can imagine a man having a vasectomy without anesthetic to the sound of frantic sitar-playing, you will have some idea what popular Turkish music is like. - Bill Bryson Quotes

If you can imagine a man having a vasectomy without anesthetic to the sound of frantic sitar-playing, you will have some idea what popular Turkish music is like.

My first rule of travel is never to go to a place that sounds like a medical condition and Critz is clearly an incurable disease involving flaking skin. - Bill Bryson Quotes

My first rule of travel is never to go to a place that sounds like a medical condition and Critz is clearly an incurable disease involving flaking skin.

Rules

To an American the whole purpose of living, the one constant confirmation of continued existence, is to cram as much sensual pleasure as possible into one's mouth more or less continually. Gratification, instant and lavish, is a birthright. - Bill Bryson Quotes

To an American the whole purpose of living, the one constant confirmation of continued existence, is to cram as much sensual pleasure as possible into one's mouth more or less continually. Gratification, instant and lavish, is a birthright.

Birthright Confirmation Existence

You can always tell a Midwestern couple in Europe because they will be standing in the middle of a busy intersection looking at a wind-blown map and arguing over which way is west. European cities, with their wandering streets and undisciplined alleys, drive Midwesterners practically insane. - Bill Bryson Quotes

You can always tell a Midwestern couple in Europe because they will be standing in the middle of a busy intersection looking at a wind-blown map and arguing over which way is west. European cities, with their wandering streets and undisciplined alleys, drive Midwesterners practically insane.

Germans are flummoxed by humor, the Swiss have no concept of fun, the Spanish think there is nothing at all ridiculous about eating dinner at midnight, and the Italians should never, ever have been let in on the invention of the motor car. - Bill Bryson Quotes

Germans are flummoxed by humor, the Swiss have no concept of fun, the Spanish think there is nothing at all ridiculous about eating dinner at midnight, and the Italians should never, ever have been let in on the invention of the motor car.

Germans Humorous Inventions

Clearly, some time ago makers and consumers of American junk food passed jointly through some kind of sensibility barrier in the endless quest for new taste sensations. Now they are a little like those desperate junkies who have tried every known drug and are finally reduced to mainlining toilet bowl cleanser in an effort to get still higher. - Bill Bryson Quotes

Clearly, some time ago makers and consumers of American junk food passed jointly through some kind of sensibility barrier in the endless quest for new taste sensations. Now they are a little like those desperate junkies who have tried every known drug and are finally reduced to mainlining toilet bowl cleanser in an effort to get still higher.

Food And Eating

Boston's freeway system is insane. It was clearly designed by a person who had spent his childhood crashing toy trains. - Bill Bryson Quotes

Boston's freeway system is insane. It was clearly designed by a person who had spent his childhood crashing toy trains.

American Writer

Nothing gives the English more pleasure, in a quiet but determined sort of way, than to do things oddly. - Bill Bryson Quotes

Nothing gives the English more pleasure, in a quiet but determined sort of way, than to do things oddly.

When I was growing up I used to think that the best thing about coming from Des Moines was that it meant you didn't come from anywhere else in Iowa. By Iowa standards, Des Moines is a mecca of cosmopolitanism, a dynamic hub of wealth and education . . . - Bill Bryson Quotes

When I was growing up I used to think that the best thing about coming from Des Moines was that it meant you didn't come from anywhere else in Iowa. By Iowa standards, Des Moines is a mecca of cosmopolitanism, a dynamic hub of wealth and education . . .

Most scientists are without exception adorably quirky, and one of the ways of making it more accessible was to try to get readers interested in the person. - Bill Bryson Quotes

Most scientists are without exception adorably quirky, and one of the ways of making it more accessible was to try to get readers interested in the person.

When you tell an Iowan a joke, you can see a kind of race going on between his brain and his expression. - Bill Bryson Quotes

When you tell an Iowan a joke, you can see a kind of race going on between his brain and his expression.

American Writer

. . . I happened upon a path that vanished into a wood on the edge of town. - Bill Bryson Quotes

. . . I happened upon a path that vanished into a wood on the edge of town.

I don't plan to write another science book, but I don't plan not to. I do enjoy writing histories, and taking subjects that are generally dull and trying to make them interesting. - Bill Bryson Quotes

I don't plan to write another science book, but I don't plan not to. I do enjoy writing histories, and taking subjects that are generally dull and trying to make them interesting.

American Writer

I like it [Australia] a lot, I think it's a terrific country; they really know how to live. The natural history of the place is endlessly fascinating. - Bill Bryson Quotes

I like it [Australia] a lot, I think it's a terrific country; they really know how to live. The natural history of the place is endlessly fascinating.

the party animal of the atomic world? - Bill Bryson Quotes

the party animal of the atomic world?

We have been chosen, ... by fate or providence or whatever you wish to call it. As far as we can tell, we are the best there is. We may be all there is. It's an unnerving thought that we may be the living universe's supreme achievement and its worst nightmare simultaneously. - Bill Bryson Quotes

We have been chosen, ... by fate or providence or whatever you wish to call it. As far as we can tell, we are the best there is. We may be all there is. It's an unnerving thought that we may be the living universe's supreme achievement and its worst nightmare simultaneously.

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